Anger Checklist

Excessive anger is one the most common causes of marital conflict. Fortunately, when this unique and powerful emotion is uncovered and addressed, its negative influence on marital love can be reduced significantly and often resolved. When anger is removed from the heart, a spouse regularly rediscovers love for the other spouse.

Please rate yourself and your spouse on the anger mistrust checklist as follows.

Active Marital Anger

Mild

  • Irritable
  • Excessive quarreling or arguing
  • Impatient
  • Frequently frustrated
  • Frequently annoyed

Moderate

  • Lies
  • Overly aggressive & antagonistic
  • Sarcasm
  • Excessively competitive
  • Bullying of others
  • Jealous
  • Chronic violation of rules at work
  • Callous
  • Hostile
  • Excessive swearing
  • Overly critical
  • Rude
  • Tries to ruin someone's reputation
  • Quits jobs regularly
  • Negative

Severe

  • Verbally abusive
  • Stealing and forgery
  • Arrest record
  • Violent acts against people, property, or oneself
  • Threats of violence
  • Repeated drunkenness
  • Excessive recklessness
  • Fire setting
  • Disregard for other's safety
Active Anger Total:

Passive-Aggressive Marital Anger

Mild

  • Always late/leaves early
  • Deliberately sloppy
  • Uncooperative attitude
  • Acts forgetful
  • Procrastinates - deliberately puts things off
  • Twists the truth
  • Refuses to do what is reasonably expected
  • Door banging
  • Withdrawn
  • Deliberately slow
  • Pretends not to hear or see
  • Walks out on people
  • Refuses to listen
  • Manipulative
  • Rehashes the past

Moderate

  • Refuses to clean the home or oneself
  • Acts sick or helpless
  • Overly stubborn
  • Withholds support
  • Works markedly below one's ability
  • Impulsive - failure to plan ahead
  • Deliberately avoid or ignore someone
  • Refuses to function as a responsible parent or spouse
  • Distances others
  • Always negative
  • Refuses to praise or compliment
  • Deliberately makes mistakes
  • Silent treatment
  • Won’t communicate
  • Absenteeism in work
  • Refuses to be responsible
  • Refuses to work regularly
  • Enjoys seeing people become upset
  • Divisive

Severe

  • Refuses to eat
  • Doesn't receive love
  • Deliberately fails at work
  • Refuses to take care of a serious health problem
  • Withhold love from a spouse
  • Failure to attend to the needs of the spouse or children
  • Avoids intimacy
  • Undermine childrens' trust/respect for spouse or other important relatives/friends
  • Deliberately tries to be sick
  • Always in victim role
  • Failure to pay bills
  • Con-artist
  • False accusations
  • Neglect of the home
Passive Anger Total:

The chapter on marital anger should be helpful in managing and in diminishing anger in your marriage and family.

Mid-Survey Coffee Break

We want to suggest that you might consider now taking a break in this survey for a few hours or a few days.

Evaluate your anger - Fitzgibbons Anger Inventory

Finally, consider rating your anger on another measure, the Fitzgibbons Anger Inventory, which we have been using for almost 20 years. This inventory is the only measure in this chapter which has been demonstrated in a research study to be a quantitatively valid measure. Please answer by identifying the appropriate number using this scale on the following anger checklist:

0 - Never | 1 - Very Little | 2 - Moderately Often | 3 - Very Often

Are you irritable at work, school, or home?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Do you lose your temper when driving or riding in a car?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
When asked to do something at home, work, or school do you tend to procrastinate?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
When angry do you give others the silent treatment?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Do you have difficulty allowing people to become close to you?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Are you tense or critical during meals?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Are you frequently in a hurry or impatient?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Do you lose your temper?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Do you feel you could hurt someone if you expressed your anger?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
When angry do you act as if you have forgotten what you have been asked to do?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Does the expression of anger make you feel strong or give you pleasure?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Do you have difficulty giving praise or expressing thanks to others?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Do you have thoughts of punishing or hurting others by withholding your love?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Are you often late for work, school, appointments, engagements, etc.?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Do you have angry outbursts or tantrums?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
When angry do you deliberately make mistakes or perform tasks slowly?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Do you ever have thoughts of hurting yourself?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
During the evening are you angry or critical?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Do you think of punishing those who have disappointed you by hurting yourself; for example, through illness, alcohol, drug usage, dangerous behavior, or through failure in important areas of your life?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Are you overly polite and apologetic when you are angry or provoked?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Do you find yourself being very competitive?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Do you isolate yourself at home, work, or school?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Do you experience thoughts or feelings of prejudice against others?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Do you initiate quarreling or are you often argumentative?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Is it difficult for you to give up your desire to seek revenge against those who have hurt you or someone you love?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Do you drink excessively?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Do you act in an aggressive manner with others?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Are you manipulative?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Do you have difficulty trusting people?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Do you tend to over react to minor events?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Do you attract others and then push them away when you know they are attracted to you?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Do you enjoy violent films or books?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Do you feel angry about your responsibilities?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Are you critical of those with whom you live in regards to their abilities or physical appearance?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Do you fantasize expressing anger physically against those who have hurt you or someone you love?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Do you find yourself trying to control others?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Would you rather be with animals than with people?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Are you disappointed with yourself?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Do you have difficulty accepting your anger when you've been disappointed or hurt?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Do you misdirect your anger?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Do you provoke others?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Do you become angry when you reflect on the events of the day?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Do you have difficulty allowing people to touch you?
Never Very Little Moderately Very Often
Overall Total:
Trust Score:
Passive-aggressive Score:
Violent Potential Score:

Interpreting the scores:

  1. Overall Total less than 45 - Mild Anger
  2. 45 to 65 - Moderate Anger
  3. Over 65 - High Anger
  4. Over 6 on the Trust score - Significant
  5. Over 9 on the Passive-aggressive score - Significant
  6. Over 7 on the Violent potential score - Significant