Institute for Marital Healing

Resources for Clergy

“Only if the truth about freedom and the communion of persons in marriage and in the family can regain its splendor, will the building of the civilization of love truly begin.”
John Paul II, Letter to Families, 1994.

"Priests are the greatest benefactors of humanity," Cardinal Claudio Hummes, Prefect for the Congregation of Clergy, January 8, 2008.

Ministry to those with pornography conflicts

Priests are reporting a marked increase in ministry to those with internet pornography conflicts. For this serious difficulty we recommend the new DVD/CD, Blessed Are the Pure of Heart, which discusses Bishop Robert Finn's excellent pastoral letter on pornography.  Our associate, Peter Kleponis, also comments on the emotional and character conflicts which influence pornography addiction. It can be ordered at www.familyland.org/FLStore/SerachResults.aspx?txtSearch+1036-07.  A preview of this DVD is available at YouTube.com.

In our clinical experience the most common emotional and character conflicts which influence this difficulty are:

  • Selfishness
  • Loneliness and sadness
  • Marital conflicts with a controlling, angry, critical, selfish, emotionally distant or negative spouse
  • Confidence weaknesses
  • Excessive sense of responsibility with lack of balance in life
  • Poor body image
  • Social isolation
  • Mistrust and anxiety in relationships
  • Excessive anger
  • Guilt and shame
  • Lack of self-giving to others
  • Difficulty in receiving love
  • Disordered priorities
  • Excessive sense of independence
  • Lack of acceptance by peers, particularly in adolescents
  • Lack of sense of fulfillment.

Chapters on this site which address sadness, selfishness, anxiety, marital love and sexuality, marital anger and controlling conflicts can be helpful to those with this serious difficulty. In our clinical experience these conflicts can be resolved and, subsequently, the compulsive use of pornography healed. 

Teleconferences and healing

We have found that teleconferences for men with internet pornography addiction in which anonymity is maintained by using first names are very effective in the treatment process.  In these teleconferences the emotional causes of the conflict are addressed and the twelve steps are employed.  A number of articles which demonstrate the benefits of telepsychiatry are available at Medline, the website of the National Library of Medicine and the National Institutes of Health, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed.

Books that are helpful with this conflict include Clean of Heart, Every Young Man's Battle Guide, Theology of the Body for Teens, The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality and Theology of the Body for Beginners and The Courage to be Chaste.

Parents have attempted to protect their children in high school and college from pornography by placing a program on their laptops such as Covenant Eyes which sends a weekly report to the parents of the websites visited. Some college students have been warned that if regular pornography use is found that they will lose their financial support. Those struggling with internet pornography have been helped by having the weekly report from this program sent to a good friend. Attached is a powerpoint presentation on internet pornography addiction.

For Catholics working with a confessor/spiritual director is important in the treatement plan.  Spiritual directors can assist individuals to grow in trusting the Lord has plan to protect them from loneliness and to strengthen their male confidence.

Parishioners who view homosexual pornography on the internet can be helped by reading about the origins and healing of same sex attractions (PDF format), as well as a statement by a scientific committee on homosexuality and scientific research.

False Accusations Against Priests

Unfortunately, false accusations are not uncommon today against bosses and coworkers in the workplace, against spouses in separation and divorce struggles and against priests.

In our professional experience the major deficiency presently in the evaluation of accusations against priests is the failure to examine in the depth the person making the accusation, particularly the degree of anger and emotional conflicts in them. When this essential aspect of an investigation is done, the history often reveals accusers with serious anger problems, which they misdirect at priests or even sociopathic or hysterical personality traits as in the accuser of Cardinal Pell. In the mental health reports we have reviewed on accused priests we have rarely read anything on the background of the accuser.  

The major conflicts we have identified in accusers of priests that have contributed to their making false accusations against priests include:

  • significant anger against male authority figures or other important males which is misdirected at a priest

  • a compulsive need to control with intense anger toward the priest because of an inability to control him

  • intense jealousy of the priest

  • profound lack of confidence with a need to feel superior to the priest and to punish him

  • depression and mental instability

  • substance abuse

  •   desire for publicity
  •   hatred of the Catholic Church

  • sexual conflicts

  •  prejudice

  • desire for financial gain

  •  blind zeal for a cause

  • anger against the fullness of the Church’s teaching on sexual morality and the liturgy and the  faithfulness in the priest in these area

  • sociopathic personality traits.

Mental health professionals who are called upon to evaluate priests should report more fully on the background of the accuser and should document how they have determined that the specific accusation against the priest is not a false accusation. The need for such a process is clear given the extent of false accusations made in our culture today. 

Ongoing Educational Conferences

Dr. Fitzgibbons has given many ongoing educational programs for priests in a number of dioceses and religious communities. Three DVDs are available for priests from 2004 clergy conferences on priestly ministry to parishioners with the most prevalent emotional conflicts of anxiety and mistrust, depression /loneliness, anger and confidence weaknesses.  He has also given conferences to priests on their addressing conflicts which interfere with marital self-giving and happiness.

An article on the identification and resolution of loneliness in priestly life has been helpful to many priests in their ministry. (article in Adobe PDF format).

Conflics in Priestly Relationships

Conferences also are offered for priests on identifying and resolving conflicts in priestly relationships. Here is an article on this topic from THE PRIEST from 1985.  In our professional experience the primary origins of these conflicts have changed from being the result primarily of weaknesses in emotional self-giving to being the result of contrasting views of the Church and Her role as teacher, especially as regards sexual morality, marriage and the liturgy. Dr. Paul Vitz's article on narcissism in the liturgy, published in Homiletic and Pastoral Review in the November 2007, http://www.catholiceducation.org/articles/civilization/cc0254.htm, is helpful in understanding the influence of this character weakness and its associated anger in the priesthood.

Younger priests who are faithful to Magesterium on issues of sexual morality and contraception, the liturgy and marriage can experience criticism, anger and rejection from older pastors who may even unfairly accuse them of being pastorally insensitive, rigid and conservative.  Such anger is also expressed in passive-aggressive ways in which the pastor enables the director of religious education, the music director, school prinicipal and others on the parish staff to mistreat, attempt to control and, even, limit the ministry of the faithful priest. Such mistreatment, especially early in a priest's ministry, can have seriously harmful effects upon the emotional and the spiritual lives of these priests who can experience isolation and severe loneliness in such rectories and religious communities.

On the fortieth anniversary of the release of Humanae Vitae, July 25, 2008, Cardinal James Francis Stafford has written that dissenters to this important papal document involved a level of infidelity which divided the ranks of clergy to such an extent that they have still not recovered.  He wrote, "In 1968 something terrible happened in the Church. Within the ministerial priesthood ruptures developed everywhere among friends which never healed. And the wounds continue to affect the whole Church. The dissent, together with the leaders' manipulation of the anger they fomented, became a supreme test. It changed fundamental relationships within the Church." 

He wrote, "Conversations among the clergy where they existed, became contaminated with fear.  Suspicions among priests were chronic. ...The Archdiocesan priesthood lost something of the fraternal whole which these priests had known for generations."

In regard to his own personal struggles Cardinal Stafford wrote that at as an auxiliary Bishop in 1968 at a priestly meeting to discuss Humane Vitae in August 1968 he was verbally abused and his integrity was derided for being the only priest at the meeting to support the Papal document.  Furthermore, he was warned that he was risking his ecclesiastical future by his support of Humanae Vitae, www.catholicnewsagency.com/resource.php?n=675.

Unfortunately, similar conflicts with suspicion and mistrust also have damaged the relationship between laity and priests because of the refusal of many priests to preach the truth about sexual morality and. worse. to teach against or attempt to undermine the truth.

Transgender and Transsexual Conflicts

Several articles on the transgender and transsexual issues, the desire for sex change surgery (www.narth.com/docs/desiresch.html, www.mercatornet.com/articles/vile_bodies_and_quack_remedies, www.mercatornet.com/articles/is_changing_gender_as_simple_as_changing_clothes) may be helpful in ministry to families with these conflict. Also, Dr. Paul Mc Hugh, the former chair person of psychiatry at John Hopkins, has written an excellent article on his study of transsexual surgery there and how he worked to bring to an end this surgery.

The Catholic Medical Association has information available on understanding children who have difficulty embracing the goodness of their masculinity or femininity and cross dressing at www.narth.com/docs/CMApressrelease.pdf. Also, the section in the child chapter on gender identity disorder on this website presents the reasons for the failure to identify with and accept one's masculinity and femininity in childhood.  A recent article, www.mercatornet.com/articles/experimenting_with_childrens_sexual_identity/,

describes the controversy surrounding the treatment of children with hormones in preparation for transgender surgery.

 

Crisis in the Church

When Pope John Paul II met the U.S. Cardinals and Bishops on April 23, 2002 to discuss the sex-abuse scandals in the United States he stated, "The abuse of the young is a grave symptom of a crisis affecting not only the Church, but society as a whole. It is a deeply seated crisis of sexual morality even of human relationships, and its prime victims are the family and the young. In addressing the problem of abuse with clarity and determination, the Church will help society to understand and deal with the crisis in its midst."

John Paul II also said, "They (the Catholic faithful) must know that bishops and priests are totally committed to the fullness of Catholic truth on matters of sexual morality, a truth as essential to the renewal of the priesthood and the episcopate as it is to the renewal of marriage and family life."

Priest Programs

The post crisis conferences for priests regularly focus on the issue of "boundaries." However, many priests have criticized these programs for failing to address the crisis in sexual morality and the emotional, character and spiritual conflicts which result in the sexual predation of adolescent males. In our clinical experience every priest who became involved with adolescents or children had previously engaged in homosexual acts with those his own age either in his adolescence or in his adult life.

The pamphlet of the Catholic Medical Association, "Homosexuality and Hope", which presents the medical and psychological science on the origins, nature, morbidity and treatment of homosexuality can be valuable in post crisis programs. Also, Dr. Fitzgibbons’ article from Homiletic and Pastoral Review on the crisis in the Church, and Zenit interviews on the John Jay Report and on same sex unions and adoption are available at www.zenit.org/english/visualizza.phtml?sid=52897 and at www.zenit.org/english/visualizza.phtml?sid=74506 and can be helpful to priests.

In addition, an article in Homiletic and Pastoral Review presents studies from the medical and psychiatric literature which demonstrate a correlation between homosexuality and the abuse of adolescent males.

Priests have a serious responsibility to protect the Church from futher shame and sorrow.  If they observe in their brother priests a repeated behavioral pattern of touching or embracing young men, they should report such actions so that they can be evaluated.

Adolescent Males - The Primary Victims of the Crisis

The John Jay College study on the crisis revealed that 81% of the victims were males and 76% were adolescent males. Therefore, a specific program is needed for these males. Specifically, Catholic adolescent males deserve to know the fullness of the truth about sexual morality and about homosexuality in order to protect themselves from sexual predators. To date no such programs exist for the primary victims of the crisis.

Dr. Paul Mc Hugh, former psychiatrist-in-chief at Johns Hopkins Hospital, and a member of the national review board, in the November 13, 2005 issue of the National Catholic Register reported that the John Jay findings of adolescent abuse as “remark able.” He stated, I'm amazed that this fundamental bombshell has not been the subject of greater interest and discuss ion.” He told the Register, I'm astonished that people throughout America are not talking about it, thinking about it, and wondering about what the mechanisms were that set this alight .”

A Power Point presentation on the crisis in the Church and adolescent males which was given at the national Courage meeting in St. Louis in August 2006 and also at the national Catholic Medical Association meeting in 2006 is available.

The emotional conflicts that can led adult males in the Church to sexually abuse adolescent males are:

  • weak male confidence
  • narcissism
  • loneliness and sadness
  • lack of peer acceptance in childhood and adolescence
  • poor body image
  • excessive anger and rebelliousness
  • sexual abuse in childhood
  • pornography addiction
  • acceptance of the sexual utilitarian philosophy
  • deeply rooted homosexuality
  • lack of faith and a personal relationship with Jesus.

Child Programs

Many parents, educators and Catholic mental health professionals have raised concerns about the post crisis sexual abuse prevention programs for children. These include failure to protect the innocence and emotional health of children, particularly the development of their trust. Other reported weaknesses are that they impose premature sex information on children that can damage them.

In response to these concerns raised by parents and bishops the Catholic Medical Association has done a study of the post crisis sexual abuse prevention programs for children, To Protect and To Prevent (www.cathmed.org). The conclusions sent to the Bishops were that many studies demonstrate that “the child-empowerment programs have been analyzed and have been found to be both inconsistent with the science of the emotional, cognitive, neurobiological and moral development of the child. They are also found to be ineffective at preventing the sexual abuse of children. These programs are also inconsistent with the Church’s teaching on the education of children in matters pertaining to sexuality and faith.”

The Catholic Medical Association's task force report on the crisis child program, To Protect and To Prevent: The Sexual Abuse of Children and  Its Prevention, www.cathmed.org/bookstore/index.htm, recommends that, “the present sexual abuse prevention programs be rescinded because they are ineffective and potentially damaging. We recommend that programs be developed for parents to assist them in the development and protection of their children.”   The outstanding document from the Pontifical Council for the Family, The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality, could be the basis for parental programs for child protection.

Adult Programs

The adult programs have been criticized for failing to identity the crisis in sexual morality as the primary cause of the crisis in the Church as stated several years ago by Pope John Paul II. These programs also do not address the role of homosexuality in the sexual predation of adolescent males. In fact, in one program for teachers and other adults four myths related to the crisis are identified with the third "myth" being that homosexuality has played a role in the crisis. All the post crisis programs should address the role of narcissism in the crisis because it is the major personalitly conflict which leads one to use another person as a sexual object.

Finally, Pope Benedict's comments on Judas in Jesus, The Apostles, and the Early Church, can motivate each of us in our response to the crisis.   He wrote, “While there is no lack of unworthy and traitorous Christians in the Church, it is up to each of us to counterbalance the evil done by them with our clear witness to Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior,”Jesus, The Apostles, and the Early Church (2007) Ignatius Press, p. 108.

 

New Vatican Statement on Homosexuality and the Seminaries

The important new Vatican document on homosexuality, the seminaries and priesthood, makes an important distinction supported by medical science between those with deeply rooted homosexuality and those with transitory same sex attractions. Those with deep seated homosexual attractions pose a danger to the Church and to adolescent males in particular for many reasons.

The research studies which demonstrate the attraction of males with SSA to children and adolescents have been documented in a recent article in Homiletic and Pastoral Review.

The seriousness of the damage caused by the homosexual behaviors of priests with adolescent males is highlighted by the recent judicial decision placing at risk the assets from parish churches and schools in one Archdiocese in order to pay at least $300 million to victims.

The criticisms within the Church of this new document reflect a lack of understanding of the medical and psychological research and literature on homosexuality. Deeply seated homosexuality is not a structure of human personality, but, rather, as numerous studies have demonstrated, is the result of significant emotional and behavioral conflicts which result in a high prevalence of depressive, anxiety and substance abuse disorders (see Homosexuality and Hope of the Catholic Medical Association, www.cathmed.org).

Growth in self-knowledge, forgiveness and humility are essential in the treatment of such priests.

In a Zenit interview (Part 1, Part 2) on this important document a clear distinction is made between those with deep seated homosexuality and those with transitory same sex attractions. Those with deep-seated homosexual tendencies identify themselves as homosexual persons and are usually unwilling to examine their emotional conflicts that caused this tendency. Strong physical attraction is present to other men's bodies and to the masculinity of others due to profound weakness in male confidence from different life stages.

Most of these men had painful adolescent experiences of significant loneliness and sadness, felt insecure in their masculinity, and had a poor body image. Well-designed research studies have demonstrated a much higher prevalence of psychiatric illness in those who identify themselves as homosexual. Under severe stress they may even experience strong physical and sexual attraction to adolescent males, as has occurred in the crisis in the Church.

Unresolved paternal anger is regularly misdirected as rebellion against the magisterium and the Church's teaching on sexual morality. Unfortunately, their denial, defensiveness and anger block their openness to seek the Lord's help with their emotional and behavioral weaknesses.

Those with mild homosexual tendencies do not identify themselves as homosexuals. Such men are motivated to understand and to overcome their emotional conflicts. They regularly seek psychotherapy and spiritual direction.

The goal of counseling is to uncover early conflicts, forgive those who hurt them and increase their male confidence -- which in time may lead to the resolution of same-sex attractions.

Such priests accept and want to live and teach the fullness of the Church's teaching on sexual morality. They do not support the homosexual culture but see it as antithetical to the universal call to holiness. Furthermore, they defend the sacrament of marriage from attempts to redefine it and also defend the rights of a child to a father and a mother.

We have observed many priests grow in holiness and in happiness in their ministry as a result of the healing of their childhood and adolescent male insecurity, loneliness, sadness, poor body image, anger and, subsequently, their same-sex attractions. This healing process has been described in the statement of the Catholic Medical Association, "Homosexuality and Hope."

Our experience over 25 years has convinced us of the direct link between rebellion and anger against the Church's teaching, and sexually promiscuous behaviors.

This appears to be a two-way street: Those who are sexually active dissent from the Church's teaching on sexuality to justify their own actions, while those who adopt rebellious ideas on sexual morality are more vulnerable to become sexually active, because they have little to no defense against sexual temptations.

Growth in forgiveness and humility are essential in the treatment of such priests.

If bishops encouraged priests with homosexual tendencies to pursue appropriate therapy and spiritual direction with those loyal to the Church's teaching, they too would witness healing of their priests.

The official Vatican reflection on the instruction on the admittance of homosexuals into the seminaries is of great value, as well as an excellent commentary on the new Vatican statement from Crisis magazine. Fr. Neuhaus also has written an important article on the response to this Vatican statement, The Truce of 2005?, in the February 2006 issue of First Things.

Gerard van den Aardweg, Ph.D., the leading European Catholic psychological expert on homosexuality, has written an important paper on SSA, seminarians and priesthood available at http://www.kath.net/detail.php?id=12161.

There is every reason to hope that with this new document the Church will progress along the necessary path of purification of the episcopacy, priesthood and married life described by John Paul II in April 2002 in his meeting with cardinals and bishops on the crisis of sexual morality and sexual abuse.

A DVD is available from an April 2006 conference on the crisis, which addresses directly the crisis in sexual morality and the role of homosexuality in the abuse of adolescent males. Fr. John Harvey, O.S.F.S., the director of Courage, discussed the new Vatican document on homosexuality and the crisis.

Finally, important articles, www.touchstonemag.com/archives/article.php?id=18-01-038-f and www.catholiceducation.org/articles/sexuality/se0049.html, on the severe sociological, psychological and medical damage caused by the use of contraceptives over the past 40 years can be of assistance in recognizing the importance of communicating the fullness of the Church's truth on sexual morality, as recommended by Pope John Paul II.

Growth in Affective Maturity in Seminarians

Pope John Paul II in Pastores Dabo Vobis, n. 43, wrote: “Affective maturity, which is the result of an education in true and responsible love, is a significant and decisive factor in the formation of candidates for the priesthood.”

Dr. Fitzgibbons has given conferences on growth in affective maturity to seminarians, to the spiritual formation teams of one eastern and two midwest seminaries and to the spiritual directors of American seminaries at the 2003 annual meeting at Mount St. Mary’s Seminary.

Dr. Fitzgibbons also has extensive experience in the evaluation of candidates for the priesthood and religious life. Measures are used to evaluate the most prevalent emotional conflicts of anxiety, anger, sadness and confidence weaknesses (Kessler R.C., 2005). In depth interviews compliment the testing in identifying strengths and emotional weaknesses. Then, when indicated, we recommend that the candidate try to grow in certain virtues, which can help in the resolution of emotional pain and character weaknesses (see Character Strengths and Virtues). We also suggest that they address them with a spiritual director.

The most common emotional conflicts which lead young men to consider leaving seminary are the fear of loneliness in the future and weaknesses in male confidence. Programs which address these specific issues could diminish these fears and strengthen the emotional health of seminarians.  An article on the identification and resolution of loneliness can be helpful to these young men in regard to their fear of loneliness (article in Adobe PDF format).

 

Evaluation for Seminary and Religious Life

Evaluations of candidates for seminary should include an evaluation of the most frequently seen emotional conflicts. A 2005 national study revealed that the lifetime prevalence estimates of emotional disorders are as follows:

  • anxiety disorders - 28.8%
  • impulse-control (anger) disorders - 24.8%
  • mood disorders - 20.8%
  • substance use disorders - 14.6%
  • Half of all lifetime cases start by age 14 years and three-fourths by age 24 years

Importantly, each of these states of emotional stress contributes to a weakening of confidence.

The specific testing measures, in addition to the MMPI, used in the evaluation of these conflicts are

  • for anxiety - Spielberger State - Trait Anxiety Inventory
  • for anger - Spielberger State - Trait Anger Inventory
  • for depression - Beck or Hamilton Depression Inventories
  • for male confidence - Coopersmith Self-Esteem Inventory and Boy Gender Conformity Scale
  • for selfishness - narcissism checklist
  • Clarke Sexual History Questionnaire for Males
  • Boy Gender Conformity Scale

The evaluation of candidates for priesthood often results in the identification of certain emotional weaknesses. Our recommendation is that an identified conflict, if it is not severe, be addressed by growth in certain virtues and worked on later in the process of growth in affective maturity during the seminary training. We recommend that in the seminary they discuss these issues with their spiritual directors. For example, young men from divorced families regularly demonstrate a weakness in trust or anxiety because of the collapse of their parents' marriage. Working with a spiritual director on growth in trust during the seminary years can be effective in resolving anxiety and fears and in protecting the ability to maintain trust.

 

Marital Conferences

The Institute for Marital Healing offers assistance in the development of marital seminars. These conferences identify and attempt to resolve the emotional and character conflicts in marital self-giving to romantic love, friendship and betrothed love described in John Paul II’s Love and Responsibility.  The approach taken involves the new field of positive psychology in which specific virtues are recommended and employed.  A commitment to growth in virtues daily is effective in decreasing these marital conflicts. 

We also offer conferences for couples in the first five years of their marriage. Here is a flier from a such marital conference.